Remember: The salon is the ER for hair adventures

June 23, 2017

Way back in the day, when Bizzy was a young bee still 10 years from attending cosmetology school but about to be married, I had hair to my waist.  My wedding was to be in an A-frame chapel on a few acres of forest.  I thought the best look in keeping with my wedding theme would be that of a wood nymph.  


Problem was, to my thinking, most nymphs had curly or wavy hair that would waft in the wind when walking. My hair was straight as a board.  My hair professional at the time was strictly a hair cutter, so he was out as to pursuit of curls.  My maid of honor and I decided on home permanents!  Uh…


It was determined I’d need four boxes in order to wrap my massive mane that was thick as well as long.  Once I was schooled, I’d have chosen perm rods at the very least an inch in diameter.  At least.  But to the uneducated, the “chicken bones” in the boxes were deemed right.  Surely they knew what they were doing.  So rods as thin and delicate as a chicken bone was the route we took.


Three hours later it was all wound up.  We decided to leave the perm solution on just a little longer, you know, to be sure it took.  Uh…


Neutralizing.  Rinsing.  And OMG!  My shoulder-length hair was now kinked up to my neck!  I had the biggest, weirdest Orphan Annie EVER.  


We decided then to partake of a new product designed to give girls with curly hair the smooth look I had naturally.  It was called “Curl Free,” and I was sure they meant it.  We couldn’t cover my hair with a scarf, because it was so big and so wide the ends of the scarf couldn’t be brought together to tie it!  My hair filled the front seat of my VW bug.  My bangs stuck straight out like a diving board.

And, I didn’t realize that curl relaxers were simply permanents without the curling rods.  Four boxes went home with us. Uh…


While waiting for the Curl Free to restore my long, luxurious locks, I imagined just that.  That my hair would return to its former glory.  Braids I though.  I’ll go with romantic braids instead. Uh…


Rinsing the Curl Free didn’t exactly restore my former hair.  Now, after having EIGHT doses of ammonium thioglycolate on my hair, and four rounds of the even harsher neutralizer, my hair was giving up.  As we combed it out wet, huge hunks came off in my maid’s hands!  Uh…


So, we ran out to buy yet another brand new product in hopes of creating something decent in the way of a look for the wedding...tomorrow.  Hot rollers were all the rage, and I then owned two sets.  Hope.


In the end only the ring of flowers on my head let those who attended my wedding know it was really me.  My hair was now broken and burnt and up to my shoulders.  It hung in tortured, twisted bends.


The scarf had fit over the hot rollers, to keep them in place.  During the ceremony, my mother wondered what was the red triangle on my back?  Seems as the dress was put over my head in a very small room, no one noticed the scart slide off the rollers and down my back with the dress.  So there I was with a red triangle on my back, like a slow-moving vehicle sign.  Uh…


The moral of this story is:  If you dare to delve into hair adventures, that’s great.  But remember...if it doesn’t come out as you imagined, do NOT be afraid to see a salon for HELP!  

In the long run, you will no doubt love whatever it is they need to do to “fix” your work.  Hair artists are funny and mad skilled like that.


Never be afraid to ask for assistance, be the issue be color, cut or texture.  Your professional hair artists are just that.  Artists.  And professionals.  They’ll give you an A for effort and then they’ll earn one too for righting all that might be wrong.

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